Why the spiritual woman gets stuck in SITUATIONSHIPS (and how to be chosen instead)

I see you.

You are absolute girlfriend material, except he has not claimed you as his.

You know you are amazing at heart. Not just in your career, your finances, or your work ethic, but in the way you love. You are driven. When you set a goal, you put your whole heart into it. And when it comes to love, you love deeply. You care deeply. You show up with devotion, presence, and sincerity in a way that is rare.

You are also spiritual. You see people beyond who they are today. You see their essence. You see their potential. After those amazing dates with him, you felt it. You felt who he could be. And that, my love, can become the very reason he is not committing to you.

Because when you are the kind one, the understanding one, the forgiving one, the one who always gives the benefit of the doubt, you can unintentionally make it very comfortable for a man to stay undecided.

I know you have tried everything. You have tried to show him that you are girlfriend material. Maybe you cook for him. Maybe you clean for him. Maybe you are emotionally available at all hours. Maybe you are physically intimate with him, giving him access to your body, your time, your energy. You give him everything he desires, hoping that one day he will finally choose you.

And yet, you are left wondering why he is still not fully committing. Why he is not claiming you. Why you feel like you are in this undefined space with no clear direction.

So you start searching for answers.

You ask the universe. You pull tarot cards. You check astrology. You visit psychics. You wonder what he is thinking, what he is feeling, when he will finally be ready. And deep down, you feel like you are stuck in limbo.

Part of you thinks maybe you should wait. Maybe you should be more understanding. Maybe if you are patient enough, loving enough, spiritual enough, he will eventually choose you.

And another part of you knows you want more than this.

You want commitment. You want clarity. You want his full yes, not a maybe. You want to know where this is going. You want a life partner, not a situationship that leaves you anxious and guessing.

If this is where you find yourself, I want you to hear this clearly. You are not wrong. Wanting a relationship does not make you too much.

As a spiritual woman, it is very easy to spiritually gaslight yourself. To tell yourself that expressing your desires makes you less evolved, less understanding, less compassionate. To believe that wanting commitment means you are attached or needy.

That is not true.

Owning the fact that you want a relationship is self-respect. Owning the fact that you want commitment is honoring your heart. And if you want a man who respects you, values you, and treats you as the prize, you must first respect your own desires.

You cannot receive a committed partner if you are abandoning yourself.

This is where boundaries come in. Especially for women with big hearts.

If you want a man to prioritize you, you must become clear about what you want and what you are not willing to settle for. A man can only meet you at the level you are willing to stand.

Many spiritual women struggle with boundaries because they associate saying no with being unkind. They feel guilt around expressing needs. Over time, this leads to burnout. You end up giving from an empty cup, offering love, devotion, and intimacy while your own emotional needs are unmet.

And one of the most important emotional needs you have is safety.

You cannot feel emotionally safe with a man who refuses to define the relationship. You cannot feel safe when you do not know where you stand. Your nervous system feels this, even if your mind tries to rationalize it away.

The reason you are in a situationship is not because you are unlovable. It is because at some point, you violated your own inner truth.

You may have told him it was okay to go with the flow, even though you wanted clarity. You may have said you were not in a rush, even though your heart wanted certainty. You may have minimized your needs to keep the connection.

To attract your life partner, you must begin prioritizing your inner safety above everything else.

Your intuition has always been speaking to you. It tells you what feels safe and what does not. Following that voice does not make you dramatic or demanding. It makes you aligned.

When you establish inner safety, your discernment becomes clear. You can see whether a man has the emotional capacity to be a safe container for you. Whether he can offer consistency, leadership, and presence over the long term.

A situationship exists when you outsource your safety to a man. When you wait for him to decide if you are worth clarity. When you shape yourself around what you think he wants instead of honoring what you need.

You do not need a man to give you safety. You need to establish it within yourself first.

Practically, this looks like speaking from self-respect instead of fear. When you are grounded in yourself, your words come naturally. You do not sound needy. You sound clear.

You might say something like this. “I really like you. I enjoy spending time with you. And I am someone who dates with intention. A committed relationship is what I am looking for. In order for me to feel safe, I need clarity on where this is going. How does that land for you?”

A secure, emotionally available man will appreciate this. He will respect your honesty. He will feel relieved that you brought it up.

If a man becomes defensive, avoidant, or triggered when you express your desires, that is valuable information. It allows you to see the truth of who he is early.

If you are in a situationship right now, know that it is time to take your power back.

You ended up here because at some point, you gave him the power to decide your safety. Now, it is your responsibility to reclaim it. To decide what is safe for you and to stand in that truth.

The right partner will not be scared by your clarity. He will be drawn to it.

If you desire deeper support and do not want to keep guessing or navigating this alone, I invite you to reach out. I offer free complimentary consultation sessions where we explore what is blocking you and map out the clearest path forward in your love life.

Whether you work with me or not, you will leave with clarity.

You are worthy of being chosen fully, and it begins with choosing yourself.