If you are tired of being single, this message is for you...

One of the main ways we suffer is through a very subtle belief that says, “I will only be happy when.”

In your love life, this can look like telling yourself that you will finally be happy when you meet your partner, when you are in a relationship, when you are married, or when you have children. In other areas of life, it might sound like you will finally feel at peace when your business reaches a certain income level, when you get the promotion, or when you grow a large following and feel seen.

Many women, especially those who grew up in hustle culture and achievement-driven environments, were taught to believe that where they are right now is not enough. That the present moment is something to endure rather than something to inhabit. Happiness becomes a destination instead of a lived experience.

The truth is that even when you reach those milestones, the relief is temporary. You might feel a short moment of excitement or safety, but the mind does not stop there. It simply moves the finish line. When you get into a relationship, the mind says you will be happy when he proposes. When he proposes, the mind says you will be happy when you are married. When you are married, the mind says you will be happy when you have children. And the cycle continues.

This mental prison can run for an entire lifetime. Many people only recognize it when they look back and realize how much of life was spent waiting. Waiting to arrive. Waiting to finally feel okay. Waiting for a future version of life that never quite comes.

In love, this often shows up as waiting for that one perfect relationship to finally choose you and make you happy. But love is not an event. It is not a wedding day. It is not something you reach once and then keep forever without effort. Love is a lived experience that must be cultivated again and again.

When you believe that you cannot be happy or whole until someone chooses you, you unknowingly place that person on a pedestal. You make yourself smaller than the relationship you want. This creates fear and hypervigilance. You start worrying whether it will happen, whether you are doing something wrong, whether you are lovable enough.

This is why so many women find themselves overthinking on dates. You replay conversations. You analyze his texts. You try to decode his behavior. You wonder how to get him to like you more. Without realizing it, the power dynamic flips. Instead of you choosing, you wait to be chosen. Your happiness becomes dependent on his response.

This is also how unreciprocated relationships are formed. You give more. You try harder. You stay even when he does not prioritize you or show up emotionally. You tolerate breadcrumbs because you believe love is something outside of you that must be earned.

At the core of this pattern is exhaustion. Many women are not just tired of being single. They are tired of carrying life alone. Tired of being the strong one. Tired of going to events by themselves while everyone else seems partnered. Tired of managing everything from work to groceries to emotional labor without support.

There is nothing wrong with wanting companionship and support. The problem arises when love is sought from a place of depletion. When the desire sounds like someone please hold me, save me, make this easier.

When you are exhausted, your discernment weakens. You are more likely to attract men who sense that fatigue and offer promises they cannot keep. Emotionally unavailable men. Narcissistic men. Men who say they will take care of you but do not follow through. When your energy is drained, you settle for less because it feels better than nothing.

Even when a relationship forms from that place, it often becomes draining rather than nourishing. Two depleted people trying to get something from each other instead of sharing from fullness. This is why love can start to feel heavy instead of safe.

The way out is not to force yourself to be positive or pretend you do not want love. The way out is to tend to the tired part of you. To stop postponing care and presence for yourself until a future partner arrives.

A tired woman cannot recognize the love of her life. She must be nourished first.

When you begin meeting your own needs, when you set boundaries at work, soften your inner critic, and choose a life that actually fits you, something shifts. You stop running from your life and start inhabiting it. You become alive again.

This aliveness is magnetic. It is what attracts healthy masculine energy. Not desperation. Not waiting. Not exhaustion.

If you notice that you are tired of being single, ask yourself what you might be trying to escape. As long as you avoid it, it will follow you into every relationship. No partner can remove those burdens for you. That work belongs to you.

When you finally stop running and turn toward yourself with care, you set the standard for how love meets you. This is how safe, committed partnership enters your life. Not because you waited long enough, but because you learned how to be with yourself first.

This is the work I guide women through in my coaching. If you desire a relationship rooted in peace, vitality, and mutual devotion, book a free 1:1 introductory session to see your clearest path to transformation. It begins here.