3 rules to AVOID situationships (and receive husband material instead)

So, you really do like him, except that he has not called you his girlfriend.

Maybe you have been seeing him for months. For some women, this stretches into years. You are doing all the things a girlfriend would do, yet the relationship remains undefined. You cook for him. You clean his place. You walk his dog. You offer emotional and physical intimacy. You show up in ways that look like wife or long-term partner material. And still, he has not fully claimed you.

You find yourself in a limbo where you do not know if he is seeing other women or whether he would be okay with you seeing other men. All you know is that your feelings for him are deep and real. If this is where you find yourself, pause here. Because I know what your mind is telling you. You tell yourself that if you just show more, give more, become more patient, and wait a little longer, he will finally see you.

The truth is that no amount of waiting, proving, or performing will give you what you actually want, which is a committed relationship with a man who chooses you willingly. What is really happening in situationships is not confusion. It is avoidance. We avoid discomfort. We avoid honest conversations. We avoid the moment where we risk hearing a truth we might not like.

When you are willing to sit in that discomfort and speak your desire clearly, you stop leaking your power. That is also how you give yourself the chance to receive what you want instead of silently hoping it happens.

This is why there are specific rules that matter deeply in early dating if you want to avoid situationships and instead call in a committed, husband-minded man.

The first and most important rule is to state your desire early.

You need to be clear that what you are available for is a long-term, committed partnership. This does not make you needy. It makes you honest. Prevention is always easier than repair. When you are upfront about what you want, you naturally filter out men who are not capable of commitment.

If you meet online, this can be as simple as stating in your bio that you are looking for a long-term relationship. Men who want the same will respect that clarity. If you did not meet online, or if your desire has grown over time, you are still allowed to bring it up. Your desire is never wrong just because it arrives later.

A man who has a healthy masculine core and emotional availability will not be scared away by your truth. He will respect it. In fact, clarity often makes him step up.

This is especially important when things begin to deepen. When he wants to spend more time together, increase emotional closeness, or move toward physical intimacy, that is your cue to pause and ground the connection in truth.

This can sound like calmly saying that you have really enjoyed your connection and that before things get deeper, you want to be honest that you value clarity and defined relationships. The key is tone. You are not apologizing. You are not explaining yourself to earn permission. You are simply owning who you are and what you prefer.

Notice the difference between saying what you want versus trying to convince him. When you speak from self-trust rather than fear, there is no pressure in your words. After you share, you allow him to respond. You place the ball back in his court and ask what he thinks.

A man who is emotionally available and grounded in himself will appreciate this. He may even lead the conversation forward. A man who is avoidant or emotionally unavailable will often deflect. He might say he dislikes labels, wants to go with the flow, or believes the connection is bigger than definitions.

If you stay after hearing that, hoping he will change, the situationship continues. At that point, communication alone cannot solve it. There is often a deeper emotional wound that makes it hard to walk away even when red flags are present. That work requires coming back into your heart, not pushing harder, and it’s what my personalized coaching is for.

The second rule is not overcommitting before he commits.

Many women mentally commit the moment feelings deepen. We assume exclusivity because our feelings feel exclusive. We stop seeing other people without ever confirming that he has done the same. This is one of the most common ways women end up heartbroken.

Texting daily, frequent dates, and emotional closeness do not equal commitment. Unless a man explicitly states that he wants exclusivity and claims the relationship, assumptions will only lead to disappointment.

Keeping your options open is not a game. It is self-respect. It keeps you in the position of choosing rather than auditioning. It reminds you to assess how he shows up over time. His consistency, reliability, emotional availability, and ability to lead matter just as much as chemistry.

You are not closing the door to other possibilities until he has clearly opened the door to commitment. You can even be honest about this without oversharing details. Let him know that because exclusivity has not been defined, you are still meeting other people. Then allow him to respond.

A healthy man will not be threatened by this. He will either step forward or step aside.

The third key is slowing down.

Lasting relationships do not require rushing. Fast intensity often feels exciting, but it is not the same as safety. Many situationships begin with emotional or physical acceleration while commitment stays stalled. He may want closeness at full speed while avoiding responsibility altogether.

When someone rushes intimacy but avoids defining the relationship, it is essential to slow the pace. Slowness allows truth to surface. It allows you to feel into your body and notice whether you feel grounded or anxious.

When a relationship is meant to last, there is no urgency to lock it in quickly. Commitment grows naturally alongside closeness. When the pacing is uneven, it is a signal to pause.

All of this ultimately comes back to how secure you feel within yourself. When you feel whole and grounded, you can date from a place of choice rather than fear. You are no longer trying to be chosen. You are discerning.

When you are not anchored within, the relationship becomes the source of worth and safety. That is when chasing begins and reciprocity fades.

If you want to stop repeating situationships and instead experience committed, peaceful love, the work begins inside. When you feel secure, you naturally attract men who can meet you there.

This is exactly what I support women with in my one-on-one coaching. If you want a relationship that brings peace instead of anxiety and commitment instead of confusion, you can book a free Love Block Breakthrough session to discover your clearest path toward safe, secure, lasting love. The link is right here.